He's not eager to reveal his handicap;
Around the truth he would often tap.
They told him his game was taking a nap;
That it never showed up; it needed a map!

Of his golf apparel he was Oh so proud!
But people thought it was just too 'loud'.
Often suggesting it needed a shroud;
This caused a fight; a rolling dust cloud!

To his heart, golf was the key.
It was on the green his soul felt free.
He could hardly await the time for 'tee';
But club dues must be paid; this ride's got a fee.

Once in a blue moon he made a birdey;
Though he knew much about golf (a little nerdy).
About to tee off- his feet stood sturdy;
But only took up a divot--brown and verde.

It didn't take long for his eyes to in-take;
The path of the ball; the flight it must make.
"Easy!", he thought. "This is gonna be cake!"
But the fish all braced for it's entry into the lake.

In secret, the rules he would often bend;
From his mind, a rationalization he would lend.
To him, the means justified the end;
Like the fiercest warrior, his handicap must he defend.

Into his 'golf life', sand traps would rain;
Bogeys rolled in like some ghastly train.
Cancelling out any birdeys he'd gained;
"Another golf game", he sighed. "Oh, the pain!"

Shuffling into the house, his face fell. It tapered.
His wife smirked, "You lost again, didn't you?" And imagined the caper.
With an outstretched hand that 'said', "Pay her!";
Into her purse his $20 went. It vanished like a vapor!

"No dinner for me, thanks. I'm heading in early."
"Awww, it's just a game," she said. "No need to be surley."
"I'm not", he said. "I need to rise early."
"Suuurrre!", she said. "You and the proverbial 'birdy'."

He took a shower to wash away the day;
It didn't help much. That golf game would 'stay'.
His spirits were lifted, though, when he thought, "But hey!"
And danced around saying, "Tomorrow's another 'golf day'!"

Copyright 2005 by Kevin D. Rolle. All rights reserved.

My name is Kevin D. Rolle, and I have a website called
http://www.golf-humor-asylum.com which is dedicated to the humorous aspects of golf through a fresh, new golf comic strip called, "Divott and the Caddie Chronicles," and my commentary.
Thanks.